A Bit Lost

I got a bit lost.
It started with visiting a naturopath who claimed I’d be pain-free after six weeks of taking a mix of “tonics” that basically consisted of calcium, iron and magnesium. And, although these are things that are useful for me, they didn’t contribute to any improvement.

Unfazed, she prescribed another six supplements to take for my cure. So I am currently taking several tablets at every meal.

This has cost a lot of money.

Concurrently, my new physiotherapist has posited a theory that my pain is caused by my shoulder.

My little heart has been on a roller coaster. I have become quite sad, wishing with all my heart that the diagnosis of fibromyalgia was incorrect, that I can be fixed with supplements or an injury can be found and fixed.

I have struggled even more with the pain. And the fatigue.

I have been grieving daily about the lack of energy I have for my boy. That travel is more scary than exciting. That work is a big, scary monster to take me away from my boy and decrease my energy levels and increase my pain. That I can’t fathom another child or do all the things my husband would love to do.

I feel like I’m letting myself down and my husband and baby. By not being well.

This week I’ve been looking after a couple of school aged children and it’s frightened me how quickly they impacted my fatigue levels. On the first afternoon my fatigue dramatically increased. I’ve had such a sore neck, despite a physio session on Saturday, that I’ve had headaches for three days. My neck’s been so sore that I am struggling to fall asleep. I’ve taken medicine two days in a row, and I hate taking it.

So I haven’t written. Because how can you give tips to cope when you’re only just scraping by?

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2 thoughts on “A Bit Lost

  1. (((((hugs)))))
    We all have bad times with FM. But we also have better times too. And it’s ok to post about both.
    I find that sometimes when something I try helps, something happens to negate it all and then I get angry and despondant because its always like going back to square one. But I never stay that way for long. I keep trying. You will too. Because we have to. We cant let fibro win.
    And any tips to help might be something that someone else hasnt tried before, so its always worth posting about 🙂

    Like

  2. The trial and error approach to treating this condition can be super frustrating. I’ve come to be wary of anyone who promises a cure… FM can be managed but i don’t think completely reversed. Consider reading books by specialists like Dr. Teitelbaum and then seeing if your alternative health practitioners follow similar recommendations. There is some consistency about the best places to start… Take care! And don’t forget to rest!

    Liked by 1 person

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