Panicker

I lost sight of the mission.

I do that. Often. I get buried by fatigue and pain and then spiral into a steadily descending panicky chaos.

Hi, I’m Melissa and I am a panicker. Before I even realise I’ve gone into survival mode, before I’ve realised the pain and/or fatigue have ramped up so much. I panic.

After two weeks of barely surviving – new job, bad cold, baby’s first birthday party, baby spurting more teeth (and still not on daylight saving time) and husband on night shift, I was feeling more than a little sorry for myself. The negativity spiralled with the fatigue.

I ended up crying on the shower floor. And then analysing things relentlessly.

Now I’m back.

I’ve remembered why I’m doing this. Why I’m trying to make this job work. What my goals are. What my mission is (to live, love and be well despite the fibromyalgia – this prong is to have a meaningful part-time career).

Some things you could do, once you realise you’re in the spiral:
-Ask for help
-Meditate
-Go to bed
-Keep track of what you’re mission is and a list of what makes you happy.
-Keep putting one step in front of the other.

I’m not sure this situation is going to work for me and my family, but I’m able to think more clearly now that I’ve identified my spiral.

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