I fell in love the moment they put him on my chest. Despite the doctors dealing with my excessive bleeding and then stitching me up, I was lost in my son. He calmly laid on my chest and looked at me as I drank him in.
I didn’t get that with Nu because he had been taken for some medical attention immediately.
I was blown away by these first precious moments. My boy, who I had worked so hard to meet, was here. After some time cataloguing all his fingers and toes and marvelling at this creature, we managed a full first feed. I thought things would be easier this time.
But again I found that after nearly 39 weeks of pregnancy and 32 hours of labour, breastfeeding is a real kick in the pants!
The second day cluster feeding led to a mangled nipple on one side, so I had to feed the baby from one and express from the other from day three.
It didn’t fully heal and the other side got very sore from overuse, so by week two I was expressing exclusively.
My energy levels and pain didn’t help production, so baby outgrew the amount I could produce per feed by three and a half weeks. Far from being stressed, I knew that it didn’t have to be all or nothing. I had the tools to mix feed so that he could continue to have breastmilk for as long as I could produce any.
Far from being the “easy” baby I’d hoped for after Nu and his being hospitalized for week three, W didn’t like to sleep in his Moses basket and only slept in my arms or on my husband’s chest for the first couple of weeks. By week three we did manage to get him to sleep in the basket after his last feed and until his 4am feed (when he wanted to stay with mama).
My body coped really well until both my husband and I hit the wall at three and a half weeks. Baby had a few days of extreme fussiness, hungry but gassy is not a good combination.
But I persevered with my coping mechanisms – quick meditations whenever I could, heat pack, ibuprofen, stretching and hot showers.
In addition to the Fibromyalgia, general post-birth pains and sleeplessness, I received a name for the severe low back and pelvis pain I had been experiencing: symphisis pubis disorder. Basically, my pelvis spread a little too far, probably due to the prolonged labour and having to use the stirrups. This made things difficult as I couldn’t spread my legs very far apart – no squatting, no stepping over things, keeping my legs together when getting out of bed etc. I had been so looking forward to being able to sleep on my back again, but this wasn’t possible yet. My physio suggested pelvic tilts and to see my doctor if it hadn’t gotten better by six weeks.
Nu adjusted really well to being a big brother. The sleep habits we instilled in him saved us as he slept from 7.30pm to 7am and then had a nap in the afternoon. Our constant refrain was “quieter!” As he speaks so loudly and gets very excited. He gives many kisses to baby and likes to help to feed him.
Pregnancy, labour and the first weeks seem much like rugby…You can plan all you like and utilise all the tools at your disposal, but in the end you have to put your head down and run in! I’m just super thankful for Husband and his help, because I don’t know if I could have coped without him.