Fibro Mama Pregnancy Diaries: Weeks 15-17

weeks 15-17Unfortunately side sleeping had become a necessity (thanks back) and my neck was not very happy with me. Despite multiple pillow changes, tossing and turning all night and medicine at bedtime, I was waking with a rather stiff and sore neck.

The first moderate neck headache occurred late in week 14 and was managed with repeated heat pack, Panadol soluble and a relatively quiet day (I had a two-year-old boy, quiet was not a word to be applied to our days!).

The physiotherapist, who does neck traction and places acupuncture needles in tight neck and upper back muscles, really helped me. Unfortunately this is not covered at all and private fees are not cheap, so I had to survive on one visit per fortnight. I highly recommend trying this for Fibromyalgia or pregnancy (just ensure they are trained in treating pregnant women as there are points to avoid and there is a slight risk, but they have to disclose this before they treat you).

I had some spotting as we headed into week 15 which gave me a little fright. It’s quite normal in the second and third trimester and is generally alright if it’s light, brown and not accompanied by pain. It would have been so great if I could feel baby move so I could double check!

Nu remained excited about baby, and often told me that he saw the baby on the TV and it was dancing (baby was busy in the scan and it took a while to get the measurements) – confirming it is a direct relation to Nu! He liked to say hi to baby -pat, kiss and do the sign of the cross (a Catholic blessing).

Somehow, while still in bed and having only been awake for a few minutes, I managed to pull a muscle in my neck while stretching out he stiffness from sleeping on my side. OUCH! I was in such agony. On the first morning I couldn’t move without severe spasms radiating down to the shoulder. Luckily, injuries heal, and by day three I could move a little better and had less pain. It took a week to get full movement back and I was rather nervous of moving from side to side in bed after that!

Despite the neck issues, I fully enjoyed the benefits of the second trimester. I relished food and our walks, I enjoyed all my projects and I managed to make a small dent in the tick list of items baby needs. I am determined to organise baby’s room and belongings before the third trimester hits so that I can focus on resting, exercising and generally trying to be well.

I was heartened to find a few blog posts by other expecting fibro/CFS mamas (or mamas when they were expecting) that showed the 20-25 week area to be relatively cope-able too.

The absence of stress and too many work hours really helped me to cope physically. Although the burden on my husband was not light. I was hoping that by not getting so run down in pregnancy and having my husband home for six weeks after, that I’d be able to pick up some work at early as five months after baby.

For the time being I enjoyed my bump and feeling my baby move.

Rough Day With Fibromyalgia

I’m a little disappointed, it feels like one step forward and two steps back.

I had been feeling quite well the day before, home with the children with relatively low pain and fatigue levels. I had had a busy morning ferrying the children around and then getting the baby to sleep.

All of a sudden my fatigue levels spiked, I was unable to stay up and all I could do was lie on my side in bed and breathe and try not to vomit. I was too tired to listen to my meditation (too tired to listen!) After 45 minutes my head was clear enough to get up and take a bath and smear lavender oil on my feet. When the baby woke I was only well enough to lie in the floor while he played.

When this happens, not only am I feeling the symptoms, but I’m feeling the grief and the guilt. I think ahead to all the things I need to do but now worry I can’t do. I think of the burden on my husband trying to earn all the money and help so much with the kids and the house. I think why it is not fair. I have been doing All The Things, everything I can think of to be well. So just feel like this is a slap in the face and a reminder that no matter what I do I still have Fibromyalgia.

I’m taking the Low Dose Naltrexone, going to bed as soon as I can, sleeping as well as I can, pacing as best as I can, taking MSM, doing gentle yoga and stretches, trying to get to the physio (no easy feat to sync her schedule with my childcare opportunities). I’m relentlessly optimistic about my wellness. And here I sit.

I know I’m lucky that my weary legs can carry me up and down the stairs to my baby’s room. That I have a car to get around (because I’d never get anywhere by public transport with two children). That my husband looks after us. I have done so well and experience so much joy as a result of the hard work I’ve put in. But sometimes it’s just a rough day with Fibromyalgia.

4 Lessons I have Learnt While Living With Fibromyalgia

Lessons I have LearntAfter more than a decade fighting Fibromyalgia, I couldn’t imagine that the last two years could bring as much learning as it has.

I have stepped up the fight. I am trying Low-Dose Naltrexone and an MSM supplement at the moment. I am using yoga as therapy (targeted poses to keep my body moving). I am devouring research and books and articles about fighting the symptoms and the illness.

A large school of thought in the cause of Fibromyalgia, is that it is caused by underlying issues that need to be resolved. For example thyroid issues, Candida, viral infections, allergies etc.

Lesson one: Don’t be surprised, or discouraged if one avenue of potential healing doesn’t produce results.

Many Fibromyalgia bloggers/writers/doctors blame Candida overload for Fibromyalgia problems. They recommend cutting dairy and sugar and gluten and taking varying supplements. There are entire articles devoted to clearing Candida. Well, I have zero Candida in my system at the moment and my neck has been worse and the fatigue has been higher.

I also have “optimal” results in the usual blood tests (thyroid, iron, antibodies etc). All worth checking and noting that “normal” does not always mean “optimal”.

I don’t give up, I store this in my “don’t worry about it” column and move on.

Lesson two: Fibromyalgia is a massive undertaking of trial and error, which feeds into lesson three: you have to do the work yourself.

I have had precisely one doctor who is willing to listen to me, work with me and trial things with me in the 15 plus years I’ve been dealing with chronic pain. That Dr still doesn’t have a lot of avenues to offer me, but he is willing to let me trial things I research.

I turned up with research papers prepared to be persuasive about a trial of Low -Dose Naltrexone, he agreed immediately.

I have tried a multitude of things to fight Fibromyalgia. Physical therapies like osteopathy, chiropractic, massage and physiotherapy (neck traction and acupuncture needles in trigger points help me). Supplements like MSM, magnesium, multivitamins, iron, olive leaf extract, probiotics and a truckload more I can’t remember! (A helpful note here, using powders dissolved in water seems to absorb better than tablets for me).

Yoga, walking, stretching and swimming are helpful exercises that I enjoy. I have to modify for my neck and knees though. There’s also a clearly defined line that I must keep to, 25 mins of walking is enough, less causes pain in the lower body and more causes pain also!

Avoiding allergenic foods specific to me (bananas and dairy are occasional foods, corn and wheat are once per day foods according to my test). This was the one good thing that came out of hundreds of dollars spent on a naturopath. I trialed gluten-free eating a couple of years ago and found no effects while off or adding them back in. However, I do prefer non-glutenous grains like quinoa and millet as they have extra nutrients too.

There is a mind-body component. Meditation simultaneously helps me rest (I cannot nap) and teaches my central nervous system to calm down. Gratitude practice keeps me looking for the silver lining. Prayer helps sustain my hope (and hope is crucial, without that I’m done for). Colouring is calming and enjoyable. Reading is my favourite hobby and doesn’t require physical activity. You need hobbies and you have a right to enjoy these even with a limited energy envelope.

Almost every time I read a book written by a Fibromyalgia doctor, I have found that I have made my way to an approximation of their protocols myself.

This is all by time consuming, expensive, roller coaster of emotions, trial and error.

Lesson four is that you can do All The Things and still have Fibromyalgia.

Clearly I do a lot to manage my health as best as I can. I have learnt a lot and do a lot, daily. But I still struggle everyday with these symptoms. Mostly my neck and sleep. However, until a doctor helps me with my neck, my quality of life and my sleep will not improve. 

I have come a long way since I was struggling through the day, so sore I wondered how my body was functioning, so exhausted I was nauseas most of the day and only managed by holding on to the glimmer of hope that getting enough work experience would mean I could earn enough per hour to reduce my work hours. But there is more to go until I am healed and I fight on.

Fibro Mama Pregnancy Diaries: Weeks 11-14

weeks 11.14In week 11 I went away for my sister’s graduation, that meant planes (always mess me up), long days and a different bed.

Surprisingly, my morning sickness flared up the day before 11 weeks and stayed up while I was away (I slept poorly and was quite sore). I was also hungry every two hours, I really got tired of figuring out what to eat.

My back was not a happy camper. The entire spine seemed mad at me! My neck was it’s normal, stiff and sore self and my low back was intense. I experienced a burning sensation along the lower back most of the day and night and needed to lie on a double folded winter duvet to be comfortable. My upper back went into spasm semi-regularly. My usual physiotherapist suggested I see a physio who specialised in women’s health.

Our nuchal scan (assessing the risk for some genetic diseases) was scheduled for week 13, as this week enabled my husband to make it. He got to see the baby for the first time.

I met the second of the team of two midwives who looked after me, filled in many forms and heard my precious baby’s heartbeat.

My energy levels did get a little better as week 12 progressed toward week 13, but I was still super tired and struggling with sleep. The nausea receded and the hunger became less of an issue, which was a big relief!

As my pregnancy would span winter and spring, and the baby would arrive in summer, I had quite a few seasons to address for my maternity wardrobe. I purchased three maternity/nursing bras, two pairs of maternity jeans, two tops with long sleeves and a coat. I intended to buy a few nursing tops in summer.

It had gotten more exciting and more calm once we made it to the second trimester.


I wrote these posts during my pregnancy so that I could share what it was like to do pregnancy with Fibromyalgia, you might also like these:

Second Trimester, The Second Time

Fibro Mama Pregnancy Diaries 4-6 Weeks

Fibro Mama Pregnancy Diaries 7-10 Weeks

Fibro Mama Pregnancy Diaries 7-10 Weeks

Week seven was when things started to turn around a little. I had been rather sick in week six and had managed to claw my way back by eating every two or three hours, going to bed early and limiting activity.fibro mama pregnancy diaries 7.10

I had lost 1.5kg in the previous week, so actually spent weeks 6-7 lighter than I had managed in years.

My favourite foods, which I devoured unreservedly, were olives, hashbrowns, eggs, salmon and cheese. I still found comfort in marmite toast and wheatbix. I also found that I didn’t get hungry, so much as starving all of a sudden!

Nu, Coop and I managed to return to semi-regular 20 minute walks which took a bit of my limited energy levels, but really helped my body. I also utilised my Pilates resistance band and did some gentle arm and leg work, focusing on stretching. My swissball was useful for pelvic circles to keep my lower back moving.

I didn’t remember sleep being so hard last time! I struggled a lot, going to bed exhausted, but taking ages to get comfortable. And waking about 5am, in pain, only dozing from then. It takes three pillows and an extra duvet under my body to help my low back.

When I could avoid doing too much, my neck was much better. Almost less of a problem than my lower back.

At week eight baby was officially considered a fetus and was about the size of a kidney bean. I met the midwife and had a dating scan. Nu came with me and was enthralled by the little peanut. He told dada that he “saw the baba on the TV”.

At week nine I experienced an increase in fatigue, which caused a day of being bed bound and then evened out again. It seemed my body takes a day or two at each surge of hormones!


I wrote these posts during my pregnancy so that I could share what it was like to do pregnancy with Fibromyalgia, you might also like these:

Second Trimester, The Second Time

Pregnancy, the First Eight Weeks – this is from my first pregnancy

Week Ten, Blessed – also from my first pregnancy

Fibro Mama Pregnancy Diaries 4-6 Weeks

I knew something was up when I wanted vegetable soup for dessert one night. Sure enough, the next morning I tested for a big fat positive.fibro mama pregnancy diaries

Baby number two was on it’s way.

I had had a low back burn for a week, this was my new, awful PMS symptom since back labour with Nu. In addition to this I was mildly nauseas and had a mad craving for meat (I’m not usually meat’s biggest fan).

Spearmint flavoured mints and ginger lozenges were really helpful for controlling the nausea in these weeks.

Continuing as I began, I had vegetable soup everyday and my regular fruit and vegetable smoothie in the morning.

Luckily, the week before I found out I had finished a work contract and had decided to give myself a rest, I was running on empty. So the following week was somewhat blissful with less neck pain.

The fatigue was something else. A constant sleepiness. Yet an inability to sleep for long periods of time (Fibromyalgia usual-ness for me) and daylight savings ruining my mornings (waking at 6, the old 7) was rough. I was in bed by 9 each night to read and then sleep early.

Meditation was delicious, 30 minutes (when I could get a break from the toddler) was really nice for the pain and fatigue.
I did this one a lot – Float Away Stress: Relaxation for Pregnancy and Childbirth

Our walks stayed at 20-30 minutes and that was quite enough.

With all the physical impacts I found it useful to stay focused on the miraculous aspects of pregnancy…the highlight of week five was that baby’s tiny heart begins to beat! I was very excited to hear it and see it!


I wrote these posts throughout my pregnancy to share what it was like to do pregnancy with Fibromyalgia. You may also find these posts helpful:

Fibro Mama Tools for Managing Early Pregnancy Symptoms

Second Trimester, The Second Time

Pregnancy, the First Eight Weeks – This is from my first pregnancy!

Low Dose Naltrexone: Update 16 Weeks

My major experiment post- baby is Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN), you can read about the beginning of my experiment here.

Varying information will agree on anything between 8 weeks and one year to experience the full effects of LDN. And a dose of between 3 and 4.5mg depending on the illness.

At 15 weeks into the experiment, after six months of sleep deprivation from the baby on a grand scale (read: wake ups of between 2-10 times a night), I had a flare up. My neck was so sore I was extremely nauseas and had a severe headache for days. The doctor I saw told me it was my C3 and C4 vertebra that were causing me trouble. The pain was actually spasms. He suggested a muscle relaxant and slow release Brufen.

Feeling like I was taking a lot of pills, I skipped a dose of LDN for a night. A lot of people note needing to skip a night occasionally to clear the receptors as a way to increase effectiveness. There were no changes noted.

Two nights later I went on my first date with my husband since the baby. We had a glass of wine. I decided I’d better not take the LDN (full dose Naltrexone is for alcohol and drug withdrawal, it can cause vomiting when mixed).

The next day I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. The fatigue sky rocketed. I was at 6-7/10 levels, hardly functioning, needed two rests and craved sugar like mad.

Taking my 3mg dose as usual that night I went to sleep hoping to feel better when I woke.

I did feel a bit better! The fatigue was about 3/10 and the filmy fog on my brain had descended a level or two. My neck came down a point, that could be related or not.

This is proof to me that it’s making a difference. At 3-3.5mg LDN is helping my fatigue.

I patiently continue for my maximum benefit. One woman in an LDN group told me of feeling progressively better over a year to approximately 90% function at one year! It gives me such hope. So I shall continue on for my one year experiment.

Low Dose Naltrexone: An Experiment

There are three little letters that are causing a craze in the world of Fibromyalgia at the moment – LDN (low dose naltrexone). This is the last (for now) major experiment I can engage in.

Research has been showing promising results. Dr Jared Younger started with a tiny study and found positive results, approximately 65% of patients included experienced clinically significant results. He’s doing a bigger study this year.

How LDN works is well explained in this article, which includes many links to research.

It is meant to help with so many issues, including Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, gastrointestinal troubles and more.

If I could experience a 30% (this is considered clinically significant and therefore as success) decrease in pain and fatigue, my life would change! I could be a mama, a wife, do my work and have some form of a life outside that and not pay with such significant levels of pain, fatigue and other side effects of the Fibromyalgia.

I can only share research and what works or doesn’t work for me. We are all unique and react differently. If you’re interested in LDN then read the research/information and then discuss it with your doctor.

Key things I learnt:

  • It works best for me when taken at 9 (not earlier).
  • My main side effect was vivid, crazy dreams.
  • Titrating up 0.5mg at a time with four day gaps between increases, until 2.5mg when it was beneficial to wait a week or more.

I’ll update on this experiment when I’m closer to the four month mark – this is when most people I’ve read about in the LDN groups on Facebook find it shows the best effects.

Have you tried LDN? Any success?

Amitriptyline – Off and On Again

Amitriptyline is a tricyclic antidepressant that, when taken at a lower dose, can help with the sleep disorder and the pain associated with Fibromyalgia. I had been on it for nearly 10 years, since before I was diagnosed. medicine-thermometer-tablets-pills

Struggling with restless nights (losing 50-70 minutes a night to awake/restless times), I asked my doctor what else may help and he suggested I increase my dosage. But I didn’t want to do this.

I also wanted to be sure it worked, I had a fear of being stuck on it forever, without really knowing it worked. It was also a scary proposition to go off it and not sleep.

I sucked up the fear and started my experiment in November 2015 and tapered off by 5mg at a time. In the reductions from 50mg down to 30mg my sleep actually improved. But the fatigue increased, I became very fatigued and struggled to stay awake during the day.

By the time I got to 10mg at the beginning of January 2016, I was sore, sensitive and (more) exhausted. My sleep was light and it was difficult to get to sleep and back to sleep when woken.

On my first night completely off it, it took a little while to get to sleep, I slept deeply (I think, I didn’t take my Fitbit on holiday) from 12-6.30am and then my son got up. I was exhausted and sore.

As I continued it took longer and longer to get to sleep, except for the few nights when I was so miserable and exhausted I fell asleep fast and slept like the dead.

I tried 5-HTP and SleepDrops and lavender massage oil. I tried keeping the same bedtime routine, hot baths and no caffeine after lunch. I tried meditation, yoga and any pillow set up possible.

I was experiencing more wide spread pain, near constant headaches and worsening fatigue. I wasn’t coping.

I went back onto 25mg of amitriptyline and had a big sleep on the first night. And a normal sleep, albeit with a six hour block on the second night.

Within a week I was back to getting to sleep well, sleeping restlessly (mostly due to pain), but getting (a broken) eight hours. This doesn’t seem like a win, but it’s the same situation as before with half the dose of amitriptyline, which is a win. The headaches have mostly receded and the generalised, all over pain has quietened. The fatigue is more manageable.

I can only conclude that amitriptyline is working for me at the moment and I am happy enough with that. It has a valid place as the base of my wellness plan.

What I Learnt About Fibro While on Maternity Leave

I have learnt a perhaps unsurprising fact in the year since I have either not worked, or worked less than 10 hours a week. Despite the challenging role of mama to a sometimes stubbornly-against-sleep baby and everything that the first year of motherhood entails, my body responds well to not working. Presumably, more specifically, not working at a computer. And the variety of physical positions in my day. In the stop/starts in the day with a baby.

The key to my physical wellness, sadly, involves not working, or working rather little while also being a mama. Two things that are not possible with a mortgage in Auckland and a baby to raise. Plus, I rather miss going to work.

It’s just sad, beyond belief, that there is no cure for fibromyalgia and that one thing that helps me reduce the all day, every day pain and fatigue of it is more rest than one can afford.

I can write all the things I like about coping. But the crux of the matter is, we can’t afford to rest enough or to purchase all the necessary medicines/treatments etc. to be well without the income. Or, at least, I can’t see how.

Imagine the loss of power, of hope, one feels when they realise that any move that they make will almost certainly result in additional pain and fatigue. Staying up late to do something fun with your husband/partner/best friend. Walking the extra block. Working enough hours to pay the bills.

Part of seeking to live well with fibro, is to find the balance in these things. To decide what you won’t let fibro take from you and to cope, stoically (heroically), with extra (MORE) pain and fatigue.

I am doubling my working hours this week, to 15. Within two weeks, I will be working 20 hours, predominantly at the computer, because that is where my skills lie. So my mind has been full of questions: Will I cope? Will I still be a good mama? Will my fatigue worsen? Will my pain worsen? Can I counteract the consequences somehow?

But I go in with many tools to support me. Fibro is not taking my energy for my baby away from me.